How Rituals Work: The Secret to Stress-Free Wedding Planning
Updated: Nov 14, 2022
It’s no secret that I love my habit trackers. They add structure to my days and intention to my rituals. But you might be asking yourself, “what the heck does a habit tracker have to do with wedding planning?”
But rituals? They have EVERYTHING to do with weddings.
Think about it. The wedding planning itself is full of rituals.
Here’s a non-exhaustive list:
• choosing your invitations and building your wedding website
• dress or suit shopping and fittings
• menu and cake tastings
• sitting down to do the seating plan with both sets of parents (FML)
• meeting your suppliers: florist, photographer, rental and décor vendors, musicians, etc.
Now I know what you’re thinking. “Carrie-Ann, those are traditions at best!” And you’re not wrong… but I would argue that you’re not doing those moments justice unless you treat them as sacred.
What makes something a ritual?
A habit or a routine becomes a ritual when you infuse it with intention.
Not to go totally yoga-teacher on you (although, isn’t that kind of why you’re here?), but you can think of it as mindfulness, too. And mindfulness is awesome. For example, when you eat mindfully, you enjoy your food way more, and you’re less likely to overeat. When you shop mindfully, you’re going to buy the things that you need and that will be useful, and you’ll avoid having to Marie-Kondo that stuff out of your home down the road.
Similarly, when you approach these wedding planning traditions with intention, and make them special, you’ll enjoy the process more.
You’ll make better decisions and save yourself time, energy, and money.
And here’s the kicker: having the habit of setting an intention and referring back to your wedding mantra means your boundaries and your values will be in play. How. About. That.
Your ritual is uniquely yours, and it can be anything from dabbing on some lavender oil to taking three deep breaths to repeating your wedding mantra to yourself before you get out of the car. (Put all three together and you have a very yummy ritual.) The important thing is that it marks what you’re about to do as special, and sets you up for success with those high vibrations. Having a ritual will give you energy to do otherwise stressful things. And this is not just about the woo – it’s science. Rituals calm your brain. And if your wedding mantra is part of that ritual, it will also give you a confidence boost so you can make decisions easily and know when to stand your ground and when to give them the pickle.
And once you have your ritual in place, you’ll realize the importance of using it for all the wedding things. It will be how you start conversations with your partner about wedding planning (because that shouldn’t be all you ever talk about). It will make those conversations more intentional than casual, and more productive than argumentative. And it will delineate the time you spend on wedding planning from the time you spend living the rest of your life, which, (un)fortunately, doesn’t stop just because you’re getting married.
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